They're my morals, and I'm not Christian. So they can be her morals as well. Not everything is a nicely packaged stereotype.Shithead said:it's not her morals, its the bible's morals.
They're my morals, and I'm not Christian. So they can be her morals as well. Not everything is a nicely packaged stereotype.Shithead said:it's not her morals, its the bible's morals.
PHAROAHPharaoh said:Hey guys!
I have a problem with my girlfriend. We're together for about half a year and we already had sex. We're living apart, so it happens we couldn't see each other for a couple of months. I'm about to see her again and now she told me that she considers pre-marital sex as wrong and doesn't want us to do it anymore...
Listen, I really love this girl so I kind of promised to keep my hands off her. But I consider sex a very important part of every relationship and I think it's totally stupid to suppress it.
It happens that I'm an atheist while she's christian. Can you guys give me some arguments to convince her that pre-marital sex isn't a sin???
WNT2MORE said:PHAROAH
i'm not sayin' you should disregard your girls religious beliefs but you guys have already opened "pandoras box" so as far as not havin' premarital sex thats already been done.
you say sex is a very important part of a relationship(i agree,bigtime)
when you 2 had sex,how was it? great? good? mediocre? lousy?
if it was great,then maybe she could wait.but i dont know too many women that want to wait for great sex.(and its been 2 months anyway)
if it was good it could prob be improved upon over time.
if it was mediocre,or lousy then i think you would be insane to wait any longer to "see if it will work out " after marriage.on paper marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.you would be pretty pissed off and bummed out if you married this girl and found out you guys were sexualy incompatible.i could go on,and on about this,but i think i got the message out.
i hate to use this old cliche,but you wouldnt buy a car without drivin' it,so why would you want to enter into a long term commitment if you do not even know if you are sexualy compatible?.......you could always get a girlfriend/mistress,but if you did that then why bother bein' married?
Stuff_ said:Respect her morals and values. It's the best thing you can do for her. It's not all about sex. There's more to life.
It's not about a book, it's about her morals and her values. She is not ignorant, actually she is making an intelligent decision.
flair1981 said:My advice is to back away from the sex. She is right. Premarital sex is a sin. Even if you dont belive that...she does. If you really love her like you say, then do what she asks of you. Also think of the long term effects on your relationship if you get married. She will want to go to church...do you? Will you for her? Would she quit church or push her religious views away for you? If so, would you both resent it later? As a married man, these are some things you will want to know the answer to. Dont take advantage of her. A true loving relationship sometimes involves putting your wants aside for the other person. I think you know the right answer to this.
i gotta disagree with those of you that think sexual compatibility is trivial,or unimportant,and that sex does not have to be part of a relationship etc.millionman said:I want to say that it seems a good number of the guys on this forum say the word love a lot and don't seem to understand the true meaning. True love is unconditional, meaning it has no bounds. If this young woman wants to not have sex then you should love her anyway. Sex does not have to be a part of a relationship, it happens to be that us guys decide how we feel based on what we get in return..
WNT2MORE said:i gotta disagree with those of you that think sexual compatibility is trivial,or unimportant,and that sex does not have to be part of a relationship etc.
granted there is a big difference between being IN LOVE ,or IN LUST.being in lust is when the sex you are having with her makes you THINK that you are in love,but when you ARE in love the sex you have is one of the most basic,truest forms of GIVING yourself to her,and her to you. there is a special connection that 2 people in love share through sex which goes beyond just the physical pleasure.it is true that a relationship will not survive on sex alone,but it is also true that the relationship will not survive sexual incompatibility.the only reason most marriages prior to the 1960s lasted a lifetime was societys view of divorce.alot of unhappy couples stayed together because of this.
and while we are talking sex and religion, any of you people that are heavy into the church scene,and are in a sexualy incompatible relationship,dont worry there are 100s of preachers,pastors,and ministers that will be willing to satisfy a unhappy womans basic needs.
i am sure this post will piss a few people off,but this is my opinion and it took me nearly 43 years to form it. i UNDERSTAND the meaning of love,lust,and the difference between the two.i also understand that religion and those who preach it are not always what/who they appeasr to be.
millionman said:If one is Christian and the other atheist, it will not work. In any relationship there must be shared and equal footing, that does not mean being the exact same, but being a help mate for each other it is neccessary to be equally yoked together, no one pulling any more or less than the other.
millionman said:For anyone who ascribes the label of good moral teacher to Christ think on this, He claimed to be GOD. You can't be a moral teacher if you're 1. Crazy 2. A liar 3. GOD...of all the things Christ was put through which of these seems to be more likely....if you look at the evidence you can only come to one conclusion, but that's up to you.
WNT2MORE said:i also understand that religion and those who preach it are not always what/who they appeasr to be.
Pharaoh said:I think you can't generalize things like this. There are couples living together happily until death without sharing the same belief.