Once a month? What willpower! I have found the reason I keep falling into the �naked people movies�/masturbation cycle yesterday. I was really praying hard on this, I was asking God to help me with my urges and temptations and I heard "look at your History" and that is what I did. What a revelation! I saw that on the nights I was weak with myself I would start by going to a website that I get pictures of girls that I want to paint. Many of the pictures are young, beautiful girls and I would spend maybe 20 minutes on this site and the very next site I went to, every time, was a �naked people movies� site! The nights I did not visit that "seemingly innocent site" I did not take in �naked people movies�. So now I can see the steps to �naked people movies� clearly in my case. In the past I used to lust after women I would see in public but I have gotten over that and rarely take a second look, if you know what I mean. This kept me from nights of endless masturbation. Once I stopped lusting in public much of this issue was put to bed, but I was still falling into the same trap, just not as often. After seeing the full picture and the steps I would take from point A to point B showed me exactly where I was falling. I deleted all history files from that site, I threw out the bookmark and I will never find it again.
I think when we take time to be quiet and pray or meditate on why we keep falling into the same trap we can see the bigger picture and what the smaller steps were to get us to the bigger sin or wrongdoing. �naked people movies� is progressive and eventually all joy is lost in the guilt of our failure. What I read yesterday helped me big time! Objectification is the big thing we need to be focused on. Are we seeing these women as people, creatures of God, human beings or are we seeing them as an object of quick satisfaction? The author said to see every woman you feel weak over as a mother, daughter, sister, Blessed Mother, etc. He stated that this would stop me dead in my tracks and he was right. When the thought even came into mind of �naked people movies� I immediately thought of the Blessed Mother and the urge was gone.